The Heterosexual Phenomenon

Most people think of heterosexuality as the norm. But in way is it the norm? Heterosexuality is the norm only in the statistical sense; about ninety percent of people are heterosexual. But in what way is heterosexuality not the norm? Heterosexuality is a love and embrace of the opposite gender. The opposite gender is one's social out-group (people that you don't identify with). Thus heterosexuality is an embrace of one's social out-group and such an embrace is far from the norm.

How do people typically view their social out-group? Do we not feel that "birds of a feather flock together"? Do we not have a strong preference and tendency to stick to our social in-group? In fact, when do we ever see more than half of a community intentionally pursue deep relationship with their out-group? I would say never, barring the exception of gender. It is only in the context of gender that we see well over half of each gender community intentionally pursue deep relationship with their out-group in particular. Heterosexuality is a clear expression of embracing one's gender out-group.

Among all ways of embracing one’s gender out-group heterosexuality is unmatched in intensity. In the context of gender, heterosexuality is the greatest expression of embracing one's social out-group. Most people embrace their social out-group minimally if at all in other social contexts such as race, ethnicity and nationality. The fact that most people are heterosexual means most people significantly embrace their gender out-group. Yet most people generally do not embrace their social out-group with any significance. Thus, heterosexuality is an atypical way of relating to one's out-group. Heterosexuality is the exception and not the rule when it comes to interacting with one's out-group. Thus, heterosexuality is far from the norm in terms of relating to one's out-group.

In the greater picture heterosexuality is most peculiar. There is no other social context in which more than half of a community intentionally embraces their out-group. In the greater picture heterosexuality is far from the norm; it is the exception and not the rule for interacting with one's social out-group. Before we say that heterosexuality is the norm we should be sure of what sense of norm we truly mean.